Post by Fewms on Mar 1, 2008 3:45:03 GMT
From the Kitchen of a Sand-Witch
by Pstah K. Nefeh
As a good Klatchian citizen, and lover of food, I feel it is my mission to educate the public about the true Klatchian culinary experience. For example, curry is not a powder. Powdered garlic is an atrocity (We witches only use the finest freshly ground garlic in our tea). While our wonderful city has many eating establishments, the menu seemed woefully inadequate when it came to food. Yes, there were alcohols galore, and I'm sure one can live off it, but as far as food goes, we seem to be limited to snake stew, shish kebab derivatives, and generic curry. On the issue of desserts though, we do our desert homeland proud and provide a nice selection. I recommend the Sphinx Plucker Bar and the Cafe (tent in the park).
After a recent trip to the round world, I realized that there are many places in that strange land that have been inspired by my beautiful homeland. Places with strange names such as Turkey, India, Africa and Arabia. Well, I
The following is a simple menu for a three course meal to satisfy a family of one lonely mudder with acne. (Future articles may have more adventurous meal plans, but it
Appetizer: Figs and Dates (the fruit. This is a meal for mudders after all).
Main course: Klatchian inspired curry.
Dessert: Djelibebi Delights.
The appetizer is easy. If you can buy the real stuff, do so. If not, you may be able to get by on a fig Newton.
The curry requires the following ingredients: The first ingredient (in every row) is the one the recipe originally calls for, and the ones following it are what you could substitute, depending on your situation.
1 packet of hot dogs (or a can of sausages or if you're being vegetarian, a can of garbanzo beans/chick peas).
2 fresh ripe tomatoes chopped (or a can of chopped tomatoes, or tomato paste or salsa (if using salsa, skip the remaining ingredients). Never use ketchup.
Fresh garlic (to taste) - or (Eeek!) garlic salt (I have been assured that it is not lethal in small doses)
Or
Mustard Seeds (no substitute for this one. No, No - gathering the poppy seeds scattered on your computer, from the bagel you had yesterday, won
1 chillie chopped (or half, or a quarter... depending on taste. Not a Jalapeno - unless you
1 tsp/tblsp *cooking* oil. (In a pinch, you could grease your pan with the wrapper from your fries).
Fresh cilantro to garnish.
Lemon Juice.
Directions: Open the can of sausages. If you are using premium hot dogs, proceed to chop the hot dogs into 1 inch pieces. Toss the mustard seeds into the hot frying pan (over medium heat). Wait till they pop. Add the turmeric, garlic and chillie. Sautee for 3 seconds. Add the tomatoes and sausage. If your sausages are pre-cooked, you probably won
Prep time: 15 mins. Of course, if you're in a rush, you may reduce the ingredients starting from the bottom of the list. You can probably cut down the cooking time to 3 minutes by using a microwave oven. If really pressed, you could open the can of sausages and add a dash of hot sauce and imagine you're eating an exotic dish.
Now for the final dish...the Djelibeybi Delights. Option 1: Buy some Turkish Delights. Option 2: Get a bag of jelly babies and sprinkle them with powdered sugar, or just eat straight from bag. Option 3: Get a strip of fruit roll up/fruit leather and dust some powdered sugar on it. No powdered sugar? Well, find a bag of candy with powdered sugar, remove candy. Put jelly babies or fruit leather in bag. Shake well and serve.
We recommend a can of lemon flavoured drinks to accompany the meal. Or you could substitute strong alcohol of your choice. For lassie inna rush, toss a couple of tablespoons of yogurt into a glass, add some water, a touch of sugar and a pinch of salt, stir and enjoy. Don't forget to tune into your local Arabic/Indian station to set the mood. Hummus to the tune.
For the true experience, wear your underwear on your head, and call it a turban.
Editors Note: The reader is invited to submit their favourite Klatchian roundworld recipe for inclusion in future articles. The next issue promises to be a load of crock with Leyan As Soud's "Garlic with chicken". It will be followed by Gwydion's recipe for sacrificial pigeon.
by Pstah K. Nefeh
As a good Klatchian citizen, and lover of food, I feel it is my mission to educate the public about the true Klatchian culinary experience. For example, curry is not a powder. Powdered garlic is an atrocity (We witches only use the finest freshly ground garlic in our tea). While our wonderful city has many eating establishments, the menu seemed woefully inadequate when it came to food. Yes, there were alcohols galore, and I'm sure one can live off it, but as far as food goes, we seem to be limited to snake stew, shish kebab derivatives, and generic curry. On the issue of desserts though, we do our desert homeland proud and provide a nice selection. I recommend the Sphinx Plucker Bar and the Cafe (tent in the park).
After a recent trip to the round world, I realized that there are many places in that strange land that have been inspired by my beautiful homeland. Places with strange names such as Turkey, India, Africa and Arabia. Well, I
The following is a simple menu for a three course meal to satisfy a family of one lonely mudder with acne. (Future articles may have more adventurous meal plans, but it
Appetizer: Figs and Dates (the fruit. This is a meal for mudders after all).
Main course: Klatchian inspired curry.
Dessert: Djelibebi Delights.
The appetizer is easy. If you can buy the real stuff, do so. If not, you may be able to get by on a fig Newton.
The curry requires the following ingredients: The first ingredient (in every row) is the one the recipe originally calls for, and the ones following it are what you could substitute, depending on your situation.
1 packet of hot dogs (or a can of sausages or if you're being vegetarian, a can of garbanzo beans/chick peas).
2 fresh ripe tomatoes chopped (or a can of chopped tomatoes, or tomato paste or salsa (if using salsa, skip the remaining ingredients). Never use ketchup.
Fresh garlic (to taste) - or (Eeek!) garlic salt (I have been assured that it is not lethal in small doses)
Or
Mustard Seeds (no substitute for this one. No, No - gathering the poppy seeds scattered on your computer, from the bagel you had yesterday, won
1 chillie chopped (or half, or a quarter... depending on taste. Not a Jalapeno - unless you
1 tsp/tblsp *cooking* oil. (In a pinch, you could grease your pan with the wrapper from your fries).
Fresh cilantro to garnish.
Lemon Juice.
Directions: Open the can of sausages. If you are using premium hot dogs, proceed to chop the hot dogs into 1 inch pieces. Toss the mustard seeds into the hot frying pan (over medium heat). Wait till they pop. Add the turmeric, garlic and chillie. Sautee for 3 seconds. Add the tomatoes and sausage. If your sausages are pre-cooked, you probably won
Prep time: 15 mins. Of course, if you're in a rush, you may reduce the ingredients starting from the bottom of the list. You can probably cut down the cooking time to 3 minutes by using a microwave oven. If really pressed, you could open the can of sausages and add a dash of hot sauce and imagine you're eating an exotic dish.
Now for the final dish...the Djelibeybi Delights. Option 1: Buy some Turkish Delights. Option 2: Get a bag of jelly babies and sprinkle them with powdered sugar, or just eat straight from bag. Option 3: Get a strip of fruit roll up/fruit leather and dust some powdered sugar on it. No powdered sugar? Well, find a bag of candy with powdered sugar, remove candy. Put jelly babies or fruit leather in bag. Shake well and serve.
We recommend a can of lemon flavoured drinks to accompany the meal. Or you could substitute strong alcohol of your choice. For lassie inna rush, toss a couple of tablespoons of yogurt into a glass, add some water, a touch of sugar and a pinch of salt, stir and enjoy. Don't forget to tune into your local Arabic/Indian station to set the mood. Hummus to the tune.
For the true experience, wear your underwear on your head, and call it a turban.
Editors Note: The reader is invited to submit their favourite Klatchian roundworld recipe for inclusion in future articles. The next issue promises to be a load of crock with Leyan As Soud's "Garlic with chicken". It will be followed by Gwydion's recipe for sacrificial pigeon.