Post by Fewms on Oct 2, 2009 1:54:33 GMT
Written in ink:
~The Klatchian Courtier; or, A Guide to Glory and High-Sounding Name.~
To the Faithful, Salaam, and the Mercy of Sek:
On entering office last term, and receiving the hieratic mantle and mitre of quintuple rule, my first act was to cultivate familiarity with the archives of the empire's court. I quickly realized how valued were the dogmas of the Sekkite Orthodox Church within the legal system of Klatch. As one of our former magistrates observed, some minutes before he was poisoned (by coincidence, I was elected in his place): "Once force and arms did prevail; but now the wit of the fox is everywhere, and there is scarcely an honest or a virtuous man to be found." How heartening to hear. My task would not be that of prophet, it seemed, but of revivalist, adding luster the corruption already in vogue.
One can be good on a desert island, but to be evil requires an audience. For the edification of the people, and in celebration of that part of Conflict which is divine, I therefore deliberated to have added to our jurisprudential system a number of titles which would serve as the tokens of cruelly-won fame. Our beloved Divine Emperor and creators (those dread powers) approved my scheme, and it was done. As a point of history, I suggested these specific pre-titles in the context of rewards for citizens who have closed a fatwa, or decree of death, passed by the State on some infidel found worthy of that terminal measure.
No honourary pre-title awarded through the court system is permanent, but lasts for a time specified by the magistrate bestowing it. They may be won by any notable contribution to the people or institutions of Klatch, and in the course of great agons, contests and games. The titles are these:
Qasar (Caesar), Mazrat (holy), Effendi, Ya'uq (the preserver), Sitt Ishquaraya/Shai a'daha (Mistress/Master of Her/His enemies), Shai/Sitt al-Ri'asa (Master/Mistress of retribution), Shai/Sitt al-Khasa (Master/Mistress of the elite). Additionally, there is the Vizier of the People's Bank of Klatch, the managership of The Vulgar Unicorn (and her many assistants), and that influential post, Nawab of the Treasury.
It might be asked, how shall a man or woman of ingenious parts, who wishes to become an intriguer, courtier, or player of great part in Klatch, enter the Great Game? It is not difficult; in any contest, the players soon weary of one another, and long for new participants and their unknown hands. Whoso wishes to join our distractions and rivalries, will be welcomed. Several methods are open to the courtier. I shall omit those involving treachery and particularly skilled self-aggrandizement, for these are all either obvious or result from an inborn knack.
An honourable route is that of spy. It is not difficult to attach oneself to some magistrate or wealthy citizen - provided such games interest them - and spy for them either on another Council, upon their enemies, or to effect the infiltration of clubs that they are unable to openly join. It is not even necessary to be a citizen of Klatch for this path to be advanced down triumphally; former spies in AM are now distinguished citizens of our own land. It has its pitfalls; if your patron falls to the slings of slander or the arrows of Fortune, you may be dragged down in the slipstream, and rendered disreputable. Discretion partakes of the eternal silence of God; by means it, a man may imitate the divine. Discretion and subtlety reduceth all risk, so keep yourself wrapt therein as you go about your quasi-political endeavours.
A road no less orthodox is to become a citizen of the empire and seek precedence within its sundry clubs and institutions, perhaps as a means to arrive at some elevate post or other. A number of our clubs are not listed in the club control room, being secret. If you would know the club Penguin has exclusively devoted to my downfall, for example, you must ask him directly, and implore admittance. Some of these clubs are useful to the Klatchian intriguer; a few influence aspects of Djelian society from the shadows. It is it no coincidence that the statue of Amenotep-Ra has green eyes. Not a few of these clubs possess gold-glutted coffers. But their single and supremely desirable use is simply the people you will meet through them.
The Klatchian courtier's greatest necessity is to select their friends carefully, and to avoid making influential enemies. With a cabal, one may accomplish anything; with two, everything; and their conversation and pleasant joint plots will make the road to the Pharoah's court an enjoyable and stimulating one. Without an army one can succeed no more in politics than in war. Enemies are a luxury; make them only later on, when beyond the consequences of their ill will.
Finally, one might well adopt Lord Sek as diabolical Patron. His seven writhing arms are more useful for the dexterous operations required of diplomacy, than the dust and silence of Sandelfon's corridors.
Magistrate Gwydion auf der Scheibe,
-Gwydion auf der Scheibe is a Magistrate of Klatch, our Ambassador to Ankh-Morpork, and the Minister of Internal Affairs for the Sekkite Orthodox Church along with being a regular contributor to Papyrus.
~The Klatchian Courtier; or, A Guide to Glory and High-Sounding Name.~
To the Faithful, Salaam, and the Mercy of Sek:
On entering office last term, and receiving the hieratic mantle and mitre of quintuple rule, my first act was to cultivate familiarity with the archives of the empire's court. I quickly realized how valued were the dogmas of the Sekkite Orthodox Church within the legal system of Klatch. As one of our former magistrates observed, some minutes before he was poisoned (by coincidence, I was elected in his place): "Once force and arms did prevail; but now the wit of the fox is everywhere, and there is scarcely an honest or a virtuous man to be found." How heartening to hear. My task would not be that of prophet, it seemed, but of revivalist, adding luster the corruption already in vogue.
One can be good on a desert island, but to be evil requires an audience. For the edification of the people, and in celebration of that part of Conflict which is divine, I therefore deliberated to have added to our jurisprudential system a number of titles which would serve as the tokens of cruelly-won fame. Our beloved Divine Emperor and creators (those dread powers) approved my scheme, and it was done. As a point of history, I suggested these specific pre-titles in the context of rewards for citizens who have closed a fatwa, or decree of death, passed by the State on some infidel found worthy of that terminal measure.
No honourary pre-title awarded through the court system is permanent, but lasts for a time specified by the magistrate bestowing it. They may be won by any notable contribution to the people or institutions of Klatch, and in the course of great agons, contests and games. The titles are these:
Qasar (Caesar), Mazrat (holy), Effendi, Ya'uq (the preserver), Sitt Ishquaraya/Shai a'daha (Mistress/Master of Her/His enemies), Shai/Sitt al-Ri'asa (Master/Mistress of retribution), Shai/Sitt al-Khasa (Master/Mistress of the elite). Additionally, there is the Vizier of the People's Bank of Klatch, the managership of The Vulgar Unicorn (and her many assistants), and that influential post, Nawab of the Treasury.
It might be asked, how shall a man or woman of ingenious parts, who wishes to become an intriguer, courtier, or player of great part in Klatch, enter the Great Game? It is not difficult; in any contest, the players soon weary of one another, and long for new participants and their unknown hands. Whoso wishes to join our distractions and rivalries, will be welcomed. Several methods are open to the courtier. I shall omit those involving treachery and particularly skilled self-aggrandizement, for these are all either obvious or result from an inborn knack.
An honourable route is that of spy. It is not difficult to attach oneself to some magistrate or wealthy citizen - provided such games interest them - and spy for them either on another Council, upon their enemies, or to effect the infiltration of clubs that they are unable to openly join. It is not even necessary to be a citizen of Klatch for this path to be advanced down triumphally; former spies in AM are now distinguished citizens of our own land. It has its pitfalls; if your patron falls to the slings of slander or the arrows of Fortune, you may be dragged down in the slipstream, and rendered disreputable. Discretion partakes of the eternal silence of God; by means it, a man may imitate the divine. Discretion and subtlety reduceth all risk, so keep yourself wrapt therein as you go about your quasi-political endeavours.
A road no less orthodox is to become a citizen of the empire and seek precedence within its sundry clubs and institutions, perhaps as a means to arrive at some elevate post or other. A number of our clubs are not listed in the club control room, being secret. If you would know the club Penguin has exclusively devoted to my downfall, for example, you must ask him directly, and implore admittance. Some of these clubs are useful to the Klatchian intriguer; a few influence aspects of Djelian society from the shadows. It is it no coincidence that the statue of Amenotep-Ra has green eyes. Not a few of these clubs possess gold-glutted coffers. But their single and supremely desirable use is simply the people you will meet through them.
The Klatchian courtier's greatest necessity is to select their friends carefully, and to avoid making influential enemies. With a cabal, one may accomplish anything; with two, everything; and their conversation and pleasant joint plots will make the road to the Pharoah's court an enjoyable and stimulating one. Without an army one can succeed no more in politics than in war. Enemies are a luxury; make them only later on, when beyond the consequences of their ill will.
Finally, one might well adopt Lord Sek as diabolical Patron. His seven writhing arms are more useful for the dexterous operations required of diplomacy, than the dust and silence of Sandelfon's corridors.
Magistrate Gwydion auf der Scheibe,
-Gwydion auf der Scheibe is a Magistrate of Klatch, our Ambassador to Ankh-Morpork, and the Minister of Internal Affairs for the Sekkite Orthodox Church along with being a regular contributor to Papyrus.