Post by Fewms on Feb 20, 2009 3:18:32 GMT
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page 4
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Update from the Department of Peace
By Magistrate Ptoley pteh Pterrible
Q: Will there be a KGB in Communism? A: As you know, in Communism, the State will be abolished, together with its means of suppression. People will know how to self-arrest themselves.
- Anonymous Cold War catechism.
Some activitiy, though no excessive amount, has lately animated Djelibeybi's Militia, Private Investigative Service and Bounty Hunting Corps, CONDM. Since the 'voting-alt-fiasco' last term, we have added a few new members and hunted only one criminal offender. CONDM remains the premiere public bounty-hunting organization on the disc, and we are proudly Djelian. We are more than willing to investigate and settle matters for foreigners, of course, even as we remain vigilant in our efforts to protect and maintain the Djelian lifestyle.
CONDM is a club open to NPKs and PKs alike, so long as the applicant holds Djelian citizenship or is of Djelian nationality. Everyone has vital duties to perform (at their leisure) in CONDM, and participation is strongly encouraged. Promotion is possible, and even readily available, either as assignments are handed out or as honour quests are completed. In reality, even with our steadily growing numbers, we need more fresh faces to help give us a competitive edge. More members means more effective communication and more officers available for missions. To join, simply 'refer condm' and send a tell or mudmail to any recruiter.
Our headquarters is currently located at 2 lettuce lane, but admission requires the escort of an officer. Our club has been open to the public for well over a year now, and was founded by Magistrate Fewms long before he ever stood as a Magistrate. There are several elected clerical position for officers, and also many ranks, from Legionary all the way up to Dux. Enrollment is open to everyone, regardless of skill or level, and I strongly encourage you to join. More information can be found at: learnedfewms.proboards55.com
In my post of Chief Investigator to CONDM, I have the unfortunate duty to report there has been little to investigate this term. Nabber did an amazing job investigating corruption within the magistracy several terms past, but his hard work went to waste when McLeod was declared mentally incompetent to stand trial. The Mysterious Case of the Voting alts was kept under continued surveillance, and though most of them were activated in the election opening this term, and some remain persuaded that they are Greygrene's, the latest mathematical models from the Insitute of Illusory Learning have proved that their votes would not have been needed for him to secure a seat on the Magistracy by a comfortable margin in the last few elections. New citizen Pokey was recently looted by one 'Voltage'; PK officers of the highest level have agreed to redress this barbarous act at the earliest opportunity. Ptenisnet has been hard at work seeking violators of our dual-citizenship laws, and all violators will be caught, and they will be prosecuted. Beyond the intermittent activity indicated by this account, we have had little to investigate. I would like to remind those reading this that we are prepared to investigate, arbitrate, and settle any grievance.
In my other role as Chief of PK affairs, I can tell you only that a small cadre of officers attacked the unrepentent McLeod with little success. Though some items were taken, and subsequentally returned, the battle turned in favour of the criminal McLeod, and our troop was forced to retreat. Our attempts to commit him to the Djelian Asylum for the Criminally Insane may have to wait until we can organise a stronger squadron. The officers I have at my disposal are all admirable and experienced, and the routine procedures I have sent and will send them out on are challenging. It is my official opinion that more PK officers are needed to increase the functionality of our militia.
I've recently had the chance to interview a few other officers of CONDM. First up is the Signifer, Minister Gwydion auf der Scheibe. He was quick to mention that we have been mostly incative, quipping, "The desert of its face has been hidden beneath a veil of snowy disuse." He also mentioned that an increase in membership would undoubtedly help to consolidate interest and growth within the club. A final remark made by the esteemed Minister was that CONDM is the legal equivalent of Djelibeybi's economic powerhouse, the KCC. As such, many citizens could find themselves "discussing cases with Magistrates (both past and current), without the akwardness of doing so one-on-one." In his view, and in that of this reporter, CONDM is an excellent oppurtunity to familiarize oneself in the legal processes of Djelibeybi, and even to improve upon them.
I caught up with the elusive secretary, Wise Fulgoris the Clueless. He was quick to remark that, though the club is viable and has an important purpose, a lack of involvement is plaguing the ranks. He admitted recruitment was an important issue, but thought it would be more important to actively involve each officer. Fulgoris finished by mentioning he was proud to be part of an organization dedicated to deterring criminal activity and investigating the chief offenders.
Commander Fewms noted that he was enthuisiastic to see the new Watch coded and placed in-play. Though he has been disappointed by the lack of a rival Morporkian militia - the previous attempt at creating one, HOTDAM, withered away when its leader joined the ranks of the Creators - he is pleased with the involvement a few of the officers have shown. He expects that a player-run watch in Djelibeybi would decrease the total case-load of CONDM, but mentions that truly patriotic officers will still have bounty-hunting, investigation, and honour-questing to keep them occupied and involved. Magistrate Fewms also remarked, "Our greatest strength lies the talents of our Officers. Djelibeybi boasts some of the most famous, and infamous, PKs in the disc. I'm happy to say most of them are in CONDM. Our organization does need some improvement; While our individual officers are forces to be reckoned with, we haven't been forged into a force of single mind and purpose. I attribute this mostly to the uncertainty of our role, which I am currently attempting to further define and clarify." He also urged me to remind everyone that CONDM stands for "Citizen-Organized, National-Defense Militia" and is pronounced either 'Con-D-M' or 'Condemn'.
Unfortunately, Magistrate Greygrene was unavailable for comment from his post of Chief of NPK affairs.
In short, fellow citizens of the noble Kingdom of Djelibeybi, please consider joining CONDM. Our role may prove to be contingent to the success of our society, and you could conceivably provide the crucial ideas or efforts that ensure our triumph in the faces of oppression and criminal malevolence. For those that are already amongst our ranks, thank you for your time and effort, and please do everything you can to involve yourselves. Our desert flower shall never wilt when it has strong hearts and minds to guide it's growth.
Peace be with you all, and Glory unto Djelibeybi.
Magistrate Ptoley pteh Pterrible - Special Reporter to the Papyrus.
page 4
---
Update from the Department of Peace
By Magistrate Ptoley pteh Pterrible
Q: Will there be a KGB in Communism? A: As you know, in Communism, the State will be abolished, together with its means of suppression. People will know how to self-arrest themselves.
- Anonymous Cold War catechism.
Some activitiy, though no excessive amount, has lately animated Djelibeybi's Militia, Private Investigative Service and Bounty Hunting Corps, CONDM. Since the 'voting-alt-fiasco' last term, we have added a few new members and hunted only one criminal offender. CONDM remains the premiere public bounty-hunting organization on the disc, and we are proudly Djelian. We are more than willing to investigate and settle matters for foreigners, of course, even as we remain vigilant in our efforts to protect and maintain the Djelian lifestyle.
CONDM is a club open to NPKs and PKs alike, so long as the applicant holds Djelian citizenship or is of Djelian nationality. Everyone has vital duties to perform (at their leisure) in CONDM, and participation is strongly encouraged. Promotion is possible, and even readily available, either as assignments are handed out or as honour quests are completed. In reality, even with our steadily growing numbers, we need more fresh faces to help give us a competitive edge. More members means more effective communication and more officers available for missions. To join, simply 'refer condm' and send a tell or mudmail to any recruiter.
Our headquarters is currently located at 2 lettuce lane, but admission requires the escort of an officer. Our club has been open to the public for well over a year now, and was founded by Magistrate Fewms long before he ever stood as a Magistrate. There are several elected clerical position for officers, and also many ranks, from Legionary all the way up to Dux. Enrollment is open to everyone, regardless of skill or level, and I strongly encourage you to join. More information can be found at: learnedfewms.proboards55.com
In my post of Chief Investigator to CONDM, I have the unfortunate duty to report there has been little to investigate this term. Nabber did an amazing job investigating corruption within the magistracy several terms past, but his hard work went to waste when McLeod was declared mentally incompetent to stand trial. The Mysterious Case of the Voting alts was kept under continued surveillance, and though most of them were activated in the election opening this term, and some remain persuaded that they are Greygrene's, the latest mathematical models from the Insitute of Illusory Learning have proved that their votes would not have been needed for him to secure a seat on the Magistracy by a comfortable margin in the last few elections. New citizen Pokey was recently looted by one 'Voltage'; PK officers of the highest level have agreed to redress this barbarous act at the earliest opportunity. Ptenisnet has been hard at work seeking violators of our dual-citizenship laws, and all violators will be caught, and they will be prosecuted. Beyond the intermittent activity indicated by this account, we have had little to investigate. I would like to remind those reading this that we are prepared to investigate, arbitrate, and settle any grievance.
In my other role as Chief of PK affairs, I can tell you only that a small cadre of officers attacked the unrepentent McLeod with little success. Though some items were taken, and subsequentally returned, the battle turned in favour of the criminal McLeod, and our troop was forced to retreat. Our attempts to commit him to the Djelian Asylum for the Criminally Insane may have to wait until we can organise a stronger squadron. The officers I have at my disposal are all admirable and experienced, and the routine procedures I have sent and will send them out on are challenging. It is my official opinion that more PK officers are needed to increase the functionality of our militia.
I've recently had the chance to interview a few other officers of CONDM. First up is the Signifer, Minister Gwydion auf der Scheibe. He was quick to mention that we have been mostly incative, quipping, "The desert of its face has been hidden beneath a veil of snowy disuse." He also mentioned that an increase in membership would undoubtedly help to consolidate interest and growth within the club. A final remark made by the esteemed Minister was that CONDM is the legal equivalent of Djelibeybi's economic powerhouse, the KCC. As such, many citizens could find themselves "discussing cases with Magistrates (both past and current), without the akwardness of doing so one-on-one." In his view, and in that of this reporter, CONDM is an excellent oppurtunity to familiarize oneself in the legal processes of Djelibeybi, and even to improve upon them.
I caught up with the elusive secretary, Wise Fulgoris the Clueless. He was quick to remark that, though the club is viable and has an important purpose, a lack of involvement is plaguing the ranks. He admitted recruitment was an important issue, but thought it would be more important to actively involve each officer. Fulgoris finished by mentioning he was proud to be part of an organization dedicated to deterring criminal activity and investigating the chief offenders.
Commander Fewms noted that he was enthuisiastic to see the new Watch coded and placed in-play. Though he has been disappointed by the lack of a rival Morporkian militia - the previous attempt at creating one, HOTDAM, withered away when its leader joined the ranks of the Creators - he is pleased with the involvement a few of the officers have shown. He expects that a player-run watch in Djelibeybi would decrease the total case-load of CONDM, but mentions that truly patriotic officers will still have bounty-hunting, investigation, and honour-questing to keep them occupied and involved. Magistrate Fewms also remarked, "Our greatest strength lies the talents of our Officers. Djelibeybi boasts some of the most famous, and infamous, PKs in the disc. I'm happy to say most of them are in CONDM. Our organization does need some improvement; While our individual officers are forces to be reckoned with, we haven't been forged into a force of single mind and purpose. I attribute this mostly to the uncertainty of our role, which I am currently attempting to further define and clarify." He also urged me to remind everyone that CONDM stands for "Citizen-Organized, National-Defense Militia" and is pronounced either 'Con-D-M' or 'Condemn'.
Unfortunately, Magistrate Greygrene was unavailable for comment from his post of Chief of NPK affairs.
In short, fellow citizens of the noble Kingdom of Djelibeybi, please consider joining CONDM. Our role may prove to be contingent to the success of our society, and you could conceivably provide the crucial ideas or efforts that ensure our triumph in the faces of oppression and criminal malevolence. For those that are already amongst our ranks, thank you for your time and effort, and please do everything you can to involve yourselves. Our desert flower shall never wilt when it has strong hearts and minds to guide it's growth.
Peace be with you all, and Glory unto Djelibeybi.
Magistrate Ptoley pteh Pterrible - Special Reporter to the Papyrus.