Post by Fewms on Feb 8, 2009 19:19:40 GMT
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~Memorials from the Ministry of Truth~
"After the seizure of power, I tried to stay out of the government, and offered to undertake the direction of the press."
- Trotsky, 'My Life', pp. 339-340.
The fourth edition of Papyrus briefly eschewed the often barbarous and capitalistical engine of the hydraulic printing press to hire six scribes from the Citizenry. Each scribe wrote, signed and numbered ten copies on bundles of papyrus sheets. It is worth noting that no set is internally consistent; also, there are textual variations from set to set. Twenty-two of the resulting sixty copies were distributed at no expense to the Djelian Citizenry; six were sold for the subsidised sum of seven talents; the remaining thirty-two were sold for one ra each. These nearly four thousand talents went partly into the Djelian Treasury, and partly into the coffers of the Papyrus club in order to defray for as long as possible the fees occasionally demanded by its indefinite perpetuation.
A few scandals have distracted we interrogatos of Kafkaesque 1984ish totalitarianism this political term. The first of these was the Dubious Affair of the Alts, in which several pure 'voting alts' were discovered, and their apparent controller unmasked. The second was the Mysterious Defection of the Vizier, which saw ex-Vizier Fane desert both his post and Djelibeybi for reasons of inscrutable philosophy.
These intrigues are covered in the following pages; alongside which may be found a treatise on Djelian astrology, precepts to guide the neophyte in the fine art of turban tying, two dystopian allegories and a utopian adventure, an interview with the President of the KCC, and much besides.
On a closing and prejudicially political note, the Morporkian election is, at the time of publication, underway, though with few days remaining. The only candidates with positive links to Djelibeybi are the members of the AMLP, whose third attempt to succeed to office this is. I would remind anyone able, whether through a properterian cousin or alt(ernate means), to influence that distant clash, that the AMLP are Socialists. Their philosophy represents an intermediary stage between hard-line capitalism and the enlightenment of complete communism. One might speculate that the AMLP's success would bring a degree of Pharaohic civilisation to Ankh-Morpork, and open up a new world of diplomatic possibilities between our Cold Warring nations.
Minister Gwydion Gleams In Ebony the Archpriest of Sek,
Editor-in-Chief of the Papyrus.
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When I think of politics, I have to tie my turban just a little bit tighter to stop my brains from leaving through the ears. Several hookahs were smoked and dates and tea consumed all while discussing the latest topic storming the desert - the case of the rigged elections. Supposedly there was mind control involved. "One mind to rule them all", they claimed. They call the accused "alts". I couldn't understand why no one mentioned me at alt. Yes -- I too am an alt!
It is common knowledge that I'm Gwydion's voting alt. Except for the time when I'm Ptenisnet's voting alt. Of course, it depends on who gets to me first, or rather whom I ask first. So the very first time I voted, I was controlled by Ptenisnet. In the second election I was animated by Gwydion. And except for the votes that I cast that didn't agree with the candidates they suggested, I think I did a pretty good job of being an alt. As for the last election, a misunderstanding over what Clover told me about the closing date meant that I didn't get a chance to be anyone's alt. I'll gladly alt for you for the right price. For a modest sum of 100 ras, you'll have a witch clone. I remember offering during the last election but no one seemed interested.
So, why persecute the alts about their voting choices when they are easily obtainable, a dime a dozen? (Plus or minus a few ras). What really worries me is their choice of fashion. I mean how tacky is the image of all of them wearing the same shade of Grey or even worse Green? Speaking of fashion, in this issue we unwrap the mysteries of the latest Turban Myths. It is clearly a case of mind control. We have our usual cooking article, (readers are encouraged to throw up their ideas for the next issue), and the usual crossword. The best part of this issue is that we finally have a horoscope to help ease our minds and control our fates.
Ooops! The best of the best, the cream of the crop, the ultimate ideal, the utopian paradise, the heavenly hymn, the epiphany of St. Altsarus, was the emergence of new magic on the disc. The witches were all abuzz, making sure they spelled it out. Sometimes they even broke into song -- or perhaps that was the rattle of death visiting either you or the insect world? Either way, we've compiled their chanting into one saga in twelve parts, for your pleasure. It's a glimpse into that mystic world of the WotcherdearieLawks!
So, Salaam friends, may you always alt-ernate your underwear, choose alt-ernative foods and vote for the pink turban.
Good reading and remember - don't litter in the desert, there is no flush. Instead emulate the sacred cats and hide the used paper in a hole.
Warts and All,
Black Earwax Pus, the Sandwitch D'reg
Assistant Editor of the Papyrus.
The editors wish to offer comradely salutations and warm welcome to the following new Citizens (and any voting alts) of Djelibeybi: Djoan, Aithne and Zane.
page 2
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.
___ ___ /+\ ^
/__/| /__/| _______ ^ /\ .
|'+|' |~+|' / /| - ; /[]\ ^ /|\
_/ /'| ' ' /\ . /|_|\
/______/' ' . /|\ /|_|_|\
_ _ ___| |' ,' , /|_|\/|_|_|_|\
=~u~= /___ /|'''' | ; ' ' ; /|_|_|\_|_|_|_|\
; u | | | ,-/ ~, /|_|+|_|\
^ u |' # | _; : ; ,
u ,--- " : ; { /|\
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^^- ^~^~-;_-' / ' |\ ' /' / \ '; "-,_
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~--,
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
; ; '\_~Memorials from the Ministry of Truth~
"After the seizure of power, I tried to stay out of the government, and offered to undertake the direction of the press."
- Trotsky, 'My Life', pp. 339-340.
The fourth edition of Papyrus briefly eschewed the often barbarous and capitalistical engine of the hydraulic printing press to hire six scribes from the Citizenry. Each scribe wrote, signed and numbered ten copies on bundles of papyrus sheets. It is worth noting that no set is internally consistent; also, there are textual variations from set to set. Twenty-two of the resulting sixty copies were distributed at no expense to the Djelian Citizenry; six were sold for the subsidised sum of seven talents; the remaining thirty-two were sold for one ra each. These nearly four thousand talents went partly into the Djelian Treasury, and partly into the coffers of the Papyrus club in order to defray for as long as possible the fees occasionally demanded by its indefinite perpetuation.
A few scandals have distracted we interrogatos of Kafkaesque 1984ish totalitarianism this political term. The first of these was the Dubious Affair of the Alts, in which several pure 'voting alts' were discovered, and their apparent controller unmasked. The second was the Mysterious Defection of the Vizier, which saw ex-Vizier Fane desert both his post and Djelibeybi for reasons of inscrutable philosophy.
These intrigues are covered in the following pages; alongside which may be found a treatise on Djelian astrology, precepts to guide the neophyte in the fine art of turban tying, two dystopian allegories and a utopian adventure, an interview with the President of the KCC, and much besides.
On a closing and prejudicially political note, the Morporkian election is, at the time of publication, underway, though with few days remaining. The only candidates with positive links to Djelibeybi are the members of the AMLP, whose third attempt to succeed to office this is. I would remind anyone able, whether through a properterian cousin or alt(ernate means), to influence that distant clash, that the AMLP are Socialists. Their philosophy represents an intermediary stage between hard-line capitalism and the enlightenment of complete communism. One might speculate that the AMLP's success would bring a degree of Pharaohic civilisation to Ankh-Morpork, and open up a new world of diplomatic possibilities between our Cold Warring nations.
Minister Gwydion Gleams In Ebony the Archpriest of Sek,
Editor-in-Chief of the Papyrus.
---
When I think of politics, I have to tie my turban just a little bit tighter to stop my brains from leaving through the ears. Several hookahs were smoked and dates and tea consumed all while discussing the latest topic storming the desert - the case of the rigged elections. Supposedly there was mind control involved. "One mind to rule them all", they claimed. They call the accused "alts". I couldn't understand why no one mentioned me at alt. Yes -- I too am an alt!
It is common knowledge that I'm Gwydion's voting alt. Except for the time when I'm Ptenisnet's voting alt. Of course, it depends on who gets to me first, or rather whom I ask first. So the very first time I voted, I was controlled by Ptenisnet. In the second election I was animated by Gwydion. And except for the votes that I cast that didn't agree with the candidates they suggested, I think I did a pretty good job of being an alt. As for the last election, a misunderstanding over what Clover told me about the closing date meant that I didn't get a chance to be anyone's alt. I'll gladly alt for you for the right price. For a modest sum of 100 ras, you'll have a witch clone. I remember offering during the last election but no one seemed interested.
So, why persecute the alts about their voting choices when they are easily obtainable, a dime a dozen? (Plus or minus a few ras). What really worries me is their choice of fashion. I mean how tacky is the image of all of them wearing the same shade of Grey or even worse Green? Speaking of fashion, in this issue we unwrap the mysteries of the latest Turban Myths. It is clearly a case of mind control. We have our usual cooking article, (readers are encouraged to throw up their ideas for the next issue), and the usual crossword. The best part of this issue is that we finally have a horoscope to help ease our minds and control our fates.
Ooops! The best of the best, the cream of the crop, the ultimate ideal, the utopian paradise, the heavenly hymn, the epiphany of St. Altsarus, was the emergence of new magic on the disc. The witches were all abuzz, making sure they spelled it out. Sometimes they even broke into song -- or perhaps that was the rattle of death visiting either you or the insect world? Either way, we've compiled their chanting into one saga in twelve parts, for your pleasure. It's a glimpse into that mystic world of the WotcherdearieLawks!
So, Salaam friends, may you always alt-ernate your underwear, choose alt-ernative foods and vote for the pink turban.
Good reading and remember - don't litter in the desert, there is no flush. Instead emulate the sacred cats and hide the used paper in a hole.
Warts and All,
Black Earwax Pus, the Sandwitch D'reg
Assistant Editor of the Papyrus.
The editors wish to offer comradely salutations and warm welcome to the following new Citizens (and any voting alts) of Djelibeybi: Djoan, Aithne and Zane.