Post by Fewms on Feb 8, 2009 19:10:16 GMT
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Page 12
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Touched in the head,
By Black Earwax Pus
The question we've all been asking ourselves this season is, "what is the well dressed Djelian wearing?". The answer is: "I'm wearing a turban!"
Of course we all know that turbans are the rage this season. Everyone seems to want one and even a pauper can afford to rummage through the lucky-dip box in the turban shop. However some Lancrastrian born Djelian citizens take it to extremes. They don't seem to realize that lessons in turban tying do not translate to sari wearing. Perhaps it could double as a loin cloth. Then it's just a case of deciding whether or not to cover your head.
For example, consider what happened when I met Magistrate Clover. She was wearing a pair of bronze slippers, a fitted red coat and a broad pale red-violet turban. Seemingly decent and appropriate Magisterial clothes you might think? But watch out! She then proceeded to flash me. Underneath that coat she was wearing nothing more than a striped choli and an anklet. (Oh! The poor sacred cat -- Left out in the cold while the puppies are toasty).
"But I'm wearing a turban!" she exclaimed.
Well, when my sight returned, I watched her head off for some lessons in turban tying (her's was just flopped over her ears at that point) and she promised me that she'd check out the wide selection of pants available in our fine city. We have the latest in gauzy trousers, clingy black trousers and harem pants.
What next? I'd been hearing stories of the dashing Ptoley and how he manages to attract citizens to Djelibeybi, so naturally I had to see what this stellar representative of Djel was sporting.
The desert sun at midday reflecting off a shiny sun medallion and a glistening chest resulted in instant blindness again. When I regained my senses, I asked Ptoley how he could represent Djel looking like that. "Where's your djelian clothing?" "I'm wearing a sun pendant." he claimed. "How do you explain the leather pants?" "Well, they represent good honest djelian sweat".
Well, the ladies must like it. Djoan, a good djelian pishite seeking citizenship was recruited by Ptoley. "What did you think of his clothing?" I inquired. "Well, to tell you the truth, I don't really remember much of anything. This hot guy approached me and I remember this shining pendant that was swinging back and forth and back and forth and I remember a voice and before I knew it, I wanted to vote!".
At this point let me mention that Ptoley gave me a description of the turban he was ordering: "Made from black linen, this handsome broad turban is a work of millinery art. Worked artistically into the material is a decorative pattern of cats. It is adorned with an opal gem nestled above the brow." Recall the premise: When you have a turban, who needs anything else?
I needed somewhere safe to rest my eyes. I decided to pay a visit to Magistrate Keb's desert home. She welcomed me in, gave me some ice for my brow and gave me permission to peek in her drawers. Of her wardrobe, that is. I'd had enough blinding for one day. She even agreed to model the latest fashions for me. But first, she did an Agatean fan dance for me. Amazingly her veils did not get tangled in the fans. It was a sight to see.
And for the viewer's pleasure, here is an iconograph of Sultana Keb Casaubon, mother of Kiki, witch, ex-shop owner, ex-vizier, ex-nawab and present Magistrate:
[Here an iconograph has been obscured beneath thick strokes of battlefield scarlet by the Irresistable Decree of the Censor of Censors, may all love his gleaming name.]
As you can see she was wearing a cloak. Like Clover, she seemed eager to show me the rest. I pondered poking myself in the eyes to save time, but I had nothing to fear. Underneath she was wearing a halter top and harem pants.
As much as our dear readers would like to see the iconograph of our beloved sultana dressed as stated, I decided to protect the paper from lawsuits. To quote Sultatna Keb Casaubon, "Mind you, I've left off one bit off it...I never feel right without my corset, and you simply can't wear the halter top with a corset on. It just doesn't work."
Instead, we present you with a picture of some cooling melons. Apply once a day to tired eyes to reduced the puffiness. It also helps with temporary blindness.
Back to our story...
As you can see, the Sultana chooses to wear veils over turbans. Which is not a bad thing, because it did mean she realized that 9 yards of cloth is not everything. Before I departed, she hastened to assure me that all rumours of her having embezzled state funds to support her shoe and veil fetish were threadbare arguments and had been embroidered to tarnish her name.
Back in the hot sun, I considered interviewing the other magistrates, but then I remembered that Magistrate Leyan tends to sport two turbans (in a manner of speaking. A turban and a loincloth) and nothing else. Perhaps in our next issue we shall examine cutting edge male attire.
I'd had enough for the day. I decided to go see our dashing editor and check out his Seksy style.
Sing the chorus people, "I've got a turban!"
Ex-Magistrate Gwydion was dressed in nothing but a Broad old gold turban, a blood-red mask and a strategically placed chessboard. Fortunately I didn't see any little wooden men.
Perhaps the probing reader would like me to expose what I wear? *I*, a true child of the desert, accustomed to the erosive qualities of sand, dress sensibly in a midnight blue and gold turban that's finely tied *AND* a djelian red dress and a crimson linen robe. Btw, my bat is also fashionably dressed in several layers of clothing *and* a cute little white turban. (available at the shop)
So, if you visit Djelibeybi, stop by the turban shop. If you can't afford a new one, there's always the lucky-dip box. And really, if you are the kind that can laugh in the face of a sandstorm, once you have a turban, what else do you need?
Page 12
---
Touched in the head,
By Black Earwax Pus
The question we've all been asking ourselves this season is, "what is the well dressed Djelian wearing?". The answer is: "I'm wearing a turban!"
Of course we all know that turbans are the rage this season. Everyone seems to want one and even a pauper can afford to rummage through the lucky-dip box in the turban shop. However some Lancrastrian born Djelian citizens take it to extremes. They don't seem to realize that lessons in turban tying do not translate to sari wearing. Perhaps it could double as a loin cloth. Then it's just a case of deciding whether or not to cover your head.
For example, consider what happened when I met Magistrate Clover. She was wearing a pair of bronze slippers, a fitted red coat and a broad pale red-violet turban. Seemingly decent and appropriate Magisterial clothes you might think? But watch out! She then proceeded to flash me. Underneath that coat she was wearing nothing more than a striped choli and an anklet. (Oh! The poor sacred cat -- Left out in the cold while the puppies are toasty).
"But I'm wearing a turban!" she exclaimed.
Well, when my sight returned, I watched her head off for some lessons in turban tying (her's was just flopped over her ears at that point) and she promised me that she'd check out the wide selection of pants available in our fine city. We have the latest in gauzy trousers, clingy black trousers and harem pants.
What next? I'd been hearing stories of the dashing Ptoley and how he manages to attract citizens to Djelibeybi, so naturally I had to see what this stellar representative of Djel was sporting.
The desert sun at midday reflecting off a shiny sun medallion and a glistening chest resulted in instant blindness again. When I regained my senses, I asked Ptoley how he could represent Djel looking like that. "Where's your djelian clothing?" "I'm wearing a sun pendant." he claimed. "How do you explain the leather pants?" "Well, they represent good honest djelian sweat".
Well, the ladies must like it. Djoan, a good djelian pishite seeking citizenship was recruited by Ptoley. "What did you think of his clothing?" I inquired. "Well, to tell you the truth, I don't really remember much of anything. This hot guy approached me and I remember this shining pendant that was swinging back and forth and back and forth and I remember a voice and before I knew it, I wanted to vote!".
At this point let me mention that Ptoley gave me a description of the turban he was ordering: "Made from black linen, this handsome broad turban is a work of millinery art. Worked artistically into the material is a decorative pattern of cats. It is adorned with an opal gem nestled above the brow." Recall the premise: When you have a turban, who needs anything else?
I needed somewhere safe to rest my eyes. I decided to pay a visit to Magistrate Keb's desert home. She welcomed me in, gave me some ice for my brow and gave me permission to peek in her drawers. Of her wardrobe, that is. I'd had enough blinding for one day. She even agreed to model the latest fashions for me. But first, she did an Agatean fan dance for me. Amazingly her veils did not get tangled in the fans. It was a sight to see.
And for the viewer's pleasure, here is an iconograph of Sultana Keb Casaubon, mother of Kiki, witch, ex-shop owner, ex-vizier, ex-nawab and present Magistrate:
[Here an iconograph has been obscured beneath thick strokes of battlefield scarlet by the Irresistable Decree of the Censor of Censors, may all love his gleaming name.]
As you can see she was wearing a cloak. Like Clover, she seemed eager to show me the rest. I pondered poking myself in the eyes to save time, but I had nothing to fear. Underneath she was wearing a halter top and harem pants.
As much as our dear readers would like to see the iconograph of our beloved sultana dressed as stated, I decided to protect the paper from lawsuits. To quote Sultatna Keb Casaubon, "Mind you, I've left off one bit off it...I never feel right without my corset, and you simply can't wear the halter top with a corset on. It just doesn't work."
Instead, we present you with a picture of some cooling melons. Apply once a day to tired eyes to reduced the puffiness. It also helps with temporary blindness.
Back to our story...
As you can see, the Sultana chooses to wear veils over turbans. Which is not a bad thing, because it did mean she realized that 9 yards of cloth is not everything. Before I departed, she hastened to assure me that all rumours of her having embezzled state funds to support her shoe and veil fetish were threadbare arguments and had been embroidered to tarnish her name.
Back in the hot sun, I considered interviewing the other magistrates, but then I remembered that Magistrate Leyan tends to sport two turbans (in a manner of speaking. A turban and a loincloth) and nothing else. Perhaps in our next issue we shall examine cutting edge male attire.
I'd had enough for the day. I decided to go see our dashing editor and check out his Seksy style.
Sing the chorus people, "I've got a turban!"
Ex-Magistrate Gwydion was dressed in nothing but a Broad old gold turban, a blood-red mask and a strategically placed chessboard. Fortunately I didn't see any little wooden men.
Perhaps the probing reader would like me to expose what I wear? *I*, a true child of the desert, accustomed to the erosive qualities of sand, dress sensibly in a midnight blue and gold turban that's finely tied *AND* a djelian red dress and a crimson linen robe. Btw, my bat is also fashionably dressed in several layers of clothing *and* a cute little white turban. (available at the shop)
So, if you visit Djelibeybi, stop by the turban shop. If you can't afford a new one, there's always the lucky-dip box. And really, if you are the kind that can laugh in the face of a sandstorm, once you have a turban, what else do you need?