Post by Editor in Chief on Feb 21, 2008 17:50:14 GMT
Well aware of the slippery reputations of Morporkian magistrates, I ambushed Insanity while he was idle:
You tell Insanity: Hi! I'd like to ask you a few questions for The Papyrus.
You poke Insanity in the forehead with your quill.
You exclaim to Insanity: HI!
Insanity tells you: Hello MRs. 'sInYourPants.
Ignoring this jab, I got to the point:
You ask Insanity: Do you intend to abuse any other Magistrate powers?
Insanity tells you: I was elected by the people in full knowledge that I would be using my powers for the greater bad, so yes.
You ask Insanity: Any particular targets in mind?
Insanity tells you: Everyone.
Secure in the knowledge that Morporkians voters would suffer his depredations as much as innocent Djelians, I moved on to the punishment the Morporkian council had levied upon him for abuse of his powers:
You ask Insanity: Do you intend to pay the 10 royal fine imposed upon you by your fellow magistrates?
Insanity tells you: I've not made a habit of paying fines in the past, but I'm undecided about this one.
You ask Insanity: Why are you undecided?
Insanity tells you: Because I can withdraw money from the treasury to pay it with.
You ask Insanity: Do you believe the other Magistrates would acknowledge such a deposit as proper payment of the fine?
Insanity tells you: Seeing as there are no rules governing the treasury, I don't see why they'd object.
Indeed, his abuse does not end with the misuse of his magesterial commands, but extends to the penal system used to punish him! I then questioned the naughty spawn about his perception of council powers:
You ask Insanity: Do you believe the Morporkian magistrates abuse their powers?
Insanity tells you: I believe the potential is there. If a bad government gets in, it will likely be the last we ever elect.
You ask Insanity: So essentially you are abusing your powers to prove that they are abusable?
Insanity tells you: Well, it's not *all* altruism, but yes.
So he claims his actions are in response to a perceived problem. But what solution does Insanity anticipate?
You tell Insanity: What solution do you think would prevent Magistrate abuse? Other than removing your own citizenship.
Insanity tells you: Simply reducing the amount of power magistrates have, and encouraging them to work in concert with the guilds to punish people.
Insanity tells you: They should be asking the thieves' guild to collect fines for them, and asking the assassins to inhume on their behalf.
You ask Insanity: How about instituting a vote of no confidence by the voters in individual Magistrates that misbehave during their terms?
Insanity tells you: The people already voted. Although I suppose they deserve a second chance.
You tell Insanity: Indeed, if someone unpleasant sneaks in.
You stare at Insanity.
Insanity tells you: Ideally though, no leader should have to worry about how popular their actions will be, they should be concerned if they're RIGHT.
You tell Insanity: Riiiight.
Insanity tells you: Which is why I'm a big supporter of the Thieves' Guild admin system.
You ask Insanity: Are you similarly opposed to the powers of the Djelian Council, or just the Morporkian?
Insanity tells you: Any elected system. Thieves' Monitors, Assassins, etc.
But what does Insanity think of his supporters in the Magistrate elections?
You ask Insanity: What would you like to say to the Morporkian suckers that voted for you?
Insanity tells you: I'm disappointed that I've not been allowed to deliver on all my election promises, and I'm trying to make it up to them.
You ask Insanity: What were those promises?
Insanity tells you: Random contracts, evictions, that kind of thing. Also manatee protection, though I've been able to deliver on that one.
You ask Insanity: What is manatee protection?
Insanity tells you: Anyone killing a manatee is banished from the city, and repeatedly inhumed.
You nod slowly at Insanity.
You ask Insanity: Has anyone killed a, erm, manatee?
Insanity tells you: No, which is clear evidence that the law is working as a deterrent.
Finally, I asked Insanity if he feared Djelian punishment for his marriage-based crimes against two prolific citizens.
Insanity tells you: Luckily, the djelians have even worse methods of enforcements than the morporkians, so no.
Only a few days later, Insanity abused his powers yet again, this time raising the tax rate on Morporkian properties from 1.25 to 5000, possibly causing disastorous consequences for Morporkian renters across the city. After Morporkian Magistrate Grissom changed the tax rate back to 1.25, he posted to the Morporkian Council board, promising that Insanity (a certain stupid magistrate) would compensate the victims of this prank. Based on Insanity's statement above, it seems clear that Grissom is making promises he cannot keep.
Our dear readers in Ankh-Morpork, why do you stand for outrageous behavior? Insanity admits he wishes to HARM your city's citizens! He takes PRIDE in his DESTRUCTION of your council's reputation!! But you must TAKE BACK THAT PRIDE for YOURSELVES!!! You must RISE UP AGAINST THE OPPRESSOR you have VOTED into office!!!! TEAR HIM DOWN, CAST HIM ASIDE, DEMAND JUSTICE!!!!!
You tell Insanity: Hi! I'd like to ask you a few questions for The Papyrus.
You poke Insanity in the forehead with your quill.
You exclaim to Insanity: HI!
Insanity tells you: Hello MRs. 'sInYourPants.
Ignoring this jab, I got to the point:
You ask Insanity: Do you intend to abuse any other Magistrate powers?
Insanity tells you: I was elected by the people in full knowledge that I would be using my powers for the greater bad, so yes.
You ask Insanity: Any particular targets in mind?
Insanity tells you: Everyone.
Secure in the knowledge that Morporkians voters would suffer his depredations as much as innocent Djelians, I moved on to the punishment the Morporkian council had levied upon him for abuse of his powers:
You ask Insanity: Do you intend to pay the 10 royal fine imposed upon you by your fellow magistrates?
Insanity tells you: I've not made a habit of paying fines in the past, but I'm undecided about this one.
You ask Insanity: Why are you undecided?
Insanity tells you: Because I can withdraw money from the treasury to pay it with.
You ask Insanity: Do you believe the other Magistrates would acknowledge such a deposit as proper payment of the fine?
Insanity tells you: Seeing as there are no rules governing the treasury, I don't see why they'd object.
Indeed, his abuse does not end with the misuse of his magesterial commands, but extends to the penal system used to punish him! I then questioned the naughty spawn about his perception of council powers:
You ask Insanity: Do you believe the Morporkian magistrates abuse their powers?
Insanity tells you: I believe the potential is there. If a bad government gets in, it will likely be the last we ever elect.
You ask Insanity: So essentially you are abusing your powers to prove that they are abusable?
Insanity tells you: Well, it's not *all* altruism, but yes.
So he claims his actions are in response to a perceived problem. But what solution does Insanity anticipate?
You tell Insanity: What solution do you think would prevent Magistrate abuse? Other than removing your own citizenship.
Insanity tells you: Simply reducing the amount of power magistrates have, and encouraging them to work in concert with the guilds to punish people.
Insanity tells you: They should be asking the thieves' guild to collect fines for them, and asking the assassins to inhume on their behalf.
You ask Insanity: How about instituting a vote of no confidence by the voters in individual Magistrates that misbehave during their terms?
Insanity tells you: The people already voted. Although I suppose they deserve a second chance.
You tell Insanity: Indeed, if someone unpleasant sneaks in.
You stare at Insanity.
Insanity tells you: Ideally though, no leader should have to worry about how popular their actions will be, they should be concerned if they're RIGHT.
You tell Insanity: Riiiight.
Insanity tells you: Which is why I'm a big supporter of the Thieves' Guild admin system.
You ask Insanity: Are you similarly opposed to the powers of the Djelian Council, or just the Morporkian?
Insanity tells you: Any elected system. Thieves' Monitors, Assassins, etc.
But what does Insanity think of his supporters in the Magistrate elections?
You ask Insanity: What would you like to say to the Morporkian suckers that voted for you?
Insanity tells you: I'm disappointed that I've not been allowed to deliver on all my election promises, and I'm trying to make it up to them.
You ask Insanity: What were those promises?
Insanity tells you: Random contracts, evictions, that kind of thing. Also manatee protection, though I've been able to deliver on that one.
You ask Insanity: What is manatee protection?
Insanity tells you: Anyone killing a manatee is banished from the city, and repeatedly inhumed.
You nod slowly at Insanity.
You ask Insanity: Has anyone killed a, erm, manatee?
Insanity tells you: No, which is clear evidence that the law is working as a deterrent.
Finally, I asked Insanity if he feared Djelian punishment for his marriage-based crimes against two prolific citizens.
Insanity tells you: Luckily, the djelians have even worse methods of enforcements than the morporkians, so no.
Only a few days later, Insanity abused his powers yet again, this time raising the tax rate on Morporkian properties from 1.25 to 5000, possibly causing disastorous consequences for Morporkian renters across the city. After Morporkian Magistrate Grissom changed the tax rate back to 1.25, he posted to the Morporkian Council board, promising that Insanity (a certain stupid magistrate) would compensate the victims of this prank. Based on Insanity's statement above, it seems clear that Grissom is making promises he cannot keep.
Our dear readers in Ankh-Morpork, why do you stand for outrageous behavior? Insanity admits he wishes to HARM your city's citizens! He takes PRIDE in his DESTRUCTION of your council's reputation!! But you must TAKE BACK THAT PRIDE for YOURSELVES!!! You must RISE UP AGAINST THE OPPRESSOR you have VOTED into office!!!! TEAR HIM DOWN, CAST HIM ASIDE, DEMAND JUSTICE!!!!!