Post by Fewms on Oct 2, 2009 1:03:59 GMT
Written in ink in Morporkian:
On the Benefits of being Klatchian
Echo Chamber
Recently I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, who happens to be a Morporkian, where I heard nothing but ebullient praises for the council of magistrates that carbuncle of the circle sea. However, despite the numerous assertions to their greatness I heard nothing definite on why they are so superlative. So I thought it over, and could come to but one conclusion on why the entire populace of a city would think in such a manner, but I am not libelous and so will not detail my sordid theory involving stolen herbs from our beloved Hashishim, dangling pendants, the Assassin's ball, and a pig.
So, what is the greatest achievement of this city's, which is arguably the greatest concentration of economic and public activity on the disc, magisterial college in the recent past? It is but one, their seal of approval. And what is this seal of approval which has taken two separate laws, at least two citizen polls, and so many weeks of Morporkian effort to come into fruition? In its essence, nothing more than a generic "attaboy," an award given out in a popularity contest. Surely something so praised by the magistrates and people of that eastern city, something which has taken up their time and effort for so long should be more than that though? But, no. In my investigations I have found that there are in fact no benefits from receiving this "Seal of Approval," no money for club upkeep, no club house re-appropriated for club usage, one could argue that fame is garnered through this for the club but the fact that the seal is only awarded after the populace demands it renders this argument moot.
When I brought this up to my dear friend he was at first flabbergasted, and then asked a fair question, "Oh yeah? Well what have you Klatchians done?" Thankfully I can point to the many accomplishments of our small and united country. We have implemented the office of Nawab which has been essential for our recent monetary awards (awards with substance, unlike other rewards previously mentioned) given to various guilds and organizations. We have recently created a State Run player bank which gives ourselves a new source of wealth, frees us from foreign ties, and gives us greater economic control over our lands. Finally we have created this fine paper both as public organ of the state and as a new way for us to garner even more wealth for our government and, through our government, for our people.
When I regaled this to my friend he replied indignantly, and then changed the subject hurriedly. But my point remains, in the same amount of time it has taken the Morporkian council to do nothing with much flair, our council and people have done so much with so little flair. These are the benefits of being Klatchian, of having a small highly motivated populace, an active and rational Magistracy and a Treasury which is used regularly. Never forget their power, prestige, and value.
Echo Chamber
Nawab of Klatch
On the Benefits of being Klatchian
Echo Chamber
Recently I had a conversation with a good friend of mine, who happens to be a Morporkian, where I heard nothing but ebullient praises for the council of magistrates that carbuncle of the circle sea. However, despite the numerous assertions to their greatness I heard nothing definite on why they are so superlative. So I thought it over, and could come to but one conclusion on why the entire populace of a city would think in such a manner, but I am not libelous and so will not detail my sordid theory involving stolen herbs from our beloved Hashishim, dangling pendants, the Assassin's ball, and a pig.
So, what is the greatest achievement of this city's, which is arguably the greatest concentration of economic and public activity on the disc, magisterial college in the recent past? It is but one, their seal of approval. And what is this seal of approval which has taken two separate laws, at least two citizen polls, and so many weeks of Morporkian effort to come into fruition? In its essence, nothing more than a generic "attaboy," an award given out in a popularity contest. Surely something so praised by the magistrates and people of that eastern city, something which has taken up their time and effort for so long should be more than that though? But, no. In my investigations I have found that there are in fact no benefits from receiving this "Seal of Approval," no money for club upkeep, no club house re-appropriated for club usage, one could argue that fame is garnered through this for the club but the fact that the seal is only awarded after the populace demands it renders this argument moot.
When I brought this up to my dear friend he was at first flabbergasted, and then asked a fair question, "Oh yeah? Well what have you Klatchians done?" Thankfully I can point to the many accomplishments of our small and united country. We have implemented the office of Nawab which has been essential for our recent monetary awards (awards with substance, unlike other rewards previously mentioned) given to various guilds and organizations. We have recently created a State Run player bank which gives ourselves a new source of wealth, frees us from foreign ties, and gives us greater economic control over our lands. Finally we have created this fine paper both as public organ of the state and as a new way for us to garner even more wealth for our government and, through our government, for our people.
When I regaled this to my friend he replied indignantly, and then changed the subject hurriedly. But my point remains, in the same amount of time it has taken the Morporkian council to do nothing with much flair, our council and people have done so much with so little flair. These are the benefits of being Klatchian, of having a small highly motivated populace, an active and rational Magistracy and a Treasury which is used regularly. Never forget their power, prestige, and value.
Echo Chamber
Nawab of Klatch