Post by Fewms on Oct 2, 2009 14:00:09 GMT
Djelian Election Results
by Fewms
Another election season has come to a close. After one of the bloodiest campaigns in recent memory (two candidates actually made speeches), we have at last chosen our new slate of Magistrates. Our tireless political correspondent Fewms brings you an analysis of the winners, their promises, and their prospects.
Ptoley Pteh Pterrible
Magistrate Ptoley ran on a platform of overhauling the convoluted Djelian penal code, and the more obscure vagenal code. This drew strong support from some members of the PK Citizenry who would like to see less Council interference in PK disputes. He has always been tough on crime, having served as the PK Chief of CONDM. Furthermore, he spent a good part of his last Magistrate term testing the Council's new inhume capability. However, Ptoley was catapulted to electoral victory by his promise to personally satisfy each and every inhabitant of Djelibeybi. Given the literal-mindedness of our populace, he should have his hands (to say the least) full.
Sultan Gwydion Gleams In Ebony auf der Scheibe Unto This Last and so on
Early in the race for Magistrate, Gwydion swore an oath to Seven-Handed Sek to always uphold the honor of Djelibeybi and to make the welfare of Her Citizens his primary concern. In their infinite wisdom, the People decided that if you can't trust an oath made to the Lord of Lies and Mayhem, what can you trust? Having served as Magistrate, KCC vice president, Papyrus Editor-in-Chief, and Ambassador to Ankh-Morpork, this Diabolical Deacon from the Diamond City has influenced nearly every aspect of the politics of his adopted home. In his new term, he gleefully anticipates sentencing miscreants to death, and already has plans to conquer Ephebe if it ever bothers to exist.
Nabber 'sinYourPants
The true freshman in our new Magistrate class, Nabber's only political role thus far has been a brief stint as KCC Vice President. However, he is quick to point out that he has abundant courtroom experience, having stood trial on countless occasions. Unphased by the controversy he often stirs up, Nabber has astutely proclaimed that "people either love me or hate me, or have feelings in between those two extremes. And of course some people have no opinion about me at all." He agreed to run for Magistrate only after being assured that the law prohibits people from harming Magistrates during the course of their duties, and not vice versa.
Leyan al'Mahd
Now in his third term, Magistrate Leyan can point to a string of successes in his distinguished career, including new bank branches, new amendments, and several wise and just courtroom settlements. He is known for always keeping a cool head, and even more widely known for always being nicely toasted. His "Affordable Pharmaceuticals" platform seems to have struck a chord with young and old alike, making him one of the most popular political figures in Djelibeybi. However, while his supporters think of him as "Uncle Leyan", his opponents think of him, very briefly, as "The Dirk In The Dark".
Sultan Ptenisnet Pteh Pterrible
Perhaps the most surprising entrant into this term's election was Ptenisnet, who retired from politics a year ago after several fruitful Magisterial terms, claiming that he had accomplished everything he had ever set out to do. In the subsequent year he apparently got quite busy, and fathered our very own Magistrate Ptoley Pteh Pterrible (don't ask... it's probably quantum). At first polling quite low in the recent electoral race, Ptenisnet fired his campaign manager, then skyrocketed to the front of the pack with his brilliant "update the blackboard at the People's Bank" platform. This reporter fervently hopes that he keeps his promise.
by Fewms
Another election season has come to a close. After one of the bloodiest campaigns in recent memory (two candidates actually made speeches), we have at last chosen our new slate of Magistrates. Our tireless political correspondent Fewms brings you an analysis of the winners, their promises, and their prospects.
Ptoley Pteh Pterrible
Magistrate Ptoley ran on a platform of overhauling the convoluted Djelian penal code, and the more obscure vagenal code. This drew strong support from some members of the PK Citizenry who would like to see less Council interference in PK disputes. He has always been tough on crime, having served as the PK Chief of CONDM. Furthermore, he spent a good part of his last Magistrate term testing the Council's new inhume capability. However, Ptoley was catapulted to electoral victory by his promise to personally satisfy each and every inhabitant of Djelibeybi. Given the literal-mindedness of our populace, he should have his hands (to say the least) full.
Sultan Gwydion Gleams In Ebony auf der Scheibe Unto This Last and so on
Early in the race for Magistrate, Gwydion swore an oath to Seven-Handed Sek to always uphold the honor of Djelibeybi and to make the welfare of Her Citizens his primary concern. In their infinite wisdom, the People decided that if you can't trust an oath made to the Lord of Lies and Mayhem, what can you trust? Having served as Magistrate, KCC vice president, Papyrus Editor-in-Chief, and Ambassador to Ankh-Morpork, this Diabolical Deacon from the Diamond City has influenced nearly every aspect of the politics of his adopted home. In his new term, he gleefully anticipates sentencing miscreants to death, and already has plans to conquer Ephebe if it ever bothers to exist.
Nabber 'sinYourPants
The true freshman in our new Magistrate class, Nabber's only political role thus far has been a brief stint as KCC Vice President. However, he is quick to point out that he has abundant courtroom experience, having stood trial on countless occasions. Unphased by the controversy he often stirs up, Nabber has astutely proclaimed that "people either love me or hate me, or have feelings in between those two extremes. And of course some people have no opinion about me at all." He agreed to run for Magistrate only after being assured that the law prohibits people from harming Magistrates during the course of their duties, and not vice versa.
Leyan al'Mahd
Now in his third term, Magistrate Leyan can point to a string of successes in his distinguished career, including new bank branches, new amendments, and several wise and just courtroom settlements. He is known for always keeping a cool head, and even more widely known for always being nicely toasted. His "Affordable Pharmaceuticals" platform seems to have struck a chord with young and old alike, making him one of the most popular political figures in Djelibeybi. However, while his supporters think of him as "Uncle Leyan", his opponents think of him, very briefly, as "The Dirk In The Dark".
Sultan Ptenisnet Pteh Pterrible
Perhaps the most surprising entrant into this term's election was Ptenisnet, who retired from politics a year ago after several fruitful Magisterial terms, claiming that he had accomplished everything he had ever set out to do. In the subsequent year he apparently got quite busy, and fathered our very own Magistrate Ptoley Pteh Pterrible (don't ask... it's probably quantum). At first polling quite low in the recent electoral race, Ptenisnet fired his campaign manager, then skyrocketed to the front of the pack with his brilliant "update the blackboard at the People's Bank" platform. This reporter fervently hopes that he keeps his promise.